September 29, 2012
image source: http://pinterest.com/pin/206180489161607680/

Went to Novena Church today to pray before heading to Thomson Medical Centre to collect my hospitalization leave form. We bought 2 pregnancy tests (1 cheap Guardian stick and 1 Clear Blue). We were really scared on taking the test. But when we got home, I saw 2 wet dots on my undies. For the past 2 weeks, It's super dry. So seeing those 2 dots were very scary and saddening. I don't know if the stress to the church, hospital and the mall (where we got the test kits) was stressful enough for my body to have caused those spots. 

It's just clear white spotting because when I wiped it off I saw a bit more. Making me more sad. So then I decided I'll take the test.

I peed. So scared. That it was so little. As soon as done, I quickly cleaned up and walked out of the toilet without peeking at the result. Hubby thought it was invalid because the actual stick was different was the drawing on the box.

I looked and it was PALE white with only 1 line. SAD. For 2 minutes I stared before it sinked in and tears started flowing. I was disappointed with myself. 

I know things aren't final until I get the hcg blood test on Friday. But the BFN was so devastating. I'm glad hubby gave me a hug. Part of me just died.

Note: I know the pamphlet says disregard the result after 10 minutes but I kept staring at it. Now 2 hours later, I see a faint line. It's probably the evaporation line. But a little hope is not gonna hurt anybody right?

Please God. 

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