Monday, August 28, 2017

Anger Bursts

I think one of my best but worst traits is patience. I can be patient for hours, days, weeks, months and even years. But because I hold for so long that when I burst I really burst.

As I always say, I'm a work in progress. I forgive everyday. I convince myself everyday. I'm exerting so much effort. I'm pushing myself too much.

I want them to be happy else all this is wasted. But at the same time I don't want them to be happy because they deserve nothing but grief and pain! 

I have good circle of friends and support system. One whose sense of faith and acceptance (as she has been through this situation before) is unbelievable. At the beginning of her fight, She had so much anger. Now I see nothing but peace. 2 years.

Another whose life now is settled but have been through the same journey. She has so much peace with her new family that she doesn't even bother know the whereabouts of her ex. 

I wish I would reach there fast enough. I hate this hate. I hate this anger.

But as I haven't reached my zen place yet, I hope they don't come near me and mock and provoke me. Their existence alone angers me. I wish they stay away. My road is straight. They should avoid this road. If they see me they better turn back because I am no longer turning back. 

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