Lourd de Veyra: Attack, Jejemons, Attack!

They have a strange relationship with the caps lock button. Their fascination with the letter ‘Z’ borders on the perverse. They like to make awkward contractions (i.e. “aq” for “ako”). They also aspirate their syllables: “po” becomes “poh.” It is argued that brevity and convenience is their rationale for the bizarre spellings. But then again, “poh” is a letter longer than “po.” They will probably be the first to use this icon ♥ and “LOLZ” as certified punctuation marks.

They’re called jejemons. They’re basically the species of humanity that types in this charmingly odd manner, as if a chimpanzee had danced on the keyboard and hit “enter:”

guyZzZ, dHid yU Miz Mi? kOnTi NLnGz aNd Da CaNdy CutiEzZ iZ VaCkZ! KiTa KitZ zA StArbuhCkz!
eNkz tO aLL my ZupOrtErZz, and tO aLL mY HaTerz, LiVre KoH KaYoz nG MoCha FraPpez za Da Port

Unless you’ve been living inside Ping Lacson’s colon, maybe you’ve read or heard about them by now.

They have been hailed as the new jologs. But this time, it’s not really about what they’re wearing or what they’re listening to or who they’re watching in theaters. What is interesting about the whole “phenomenon” is that it is happening virtually—on blogs, chatrooms, social networking sites, and even on your mobile phone. And more importantly, it seems to be a language issue.

As with any linguistic system, the idea is to achieve a certain degree of consistency. At this point, the decision on whether or not to strike the caps button or when transform the “s” into a “Z” seems like a mere matter of temperament and improvisation. How the jejemon brain works we have no idea, but maybe it’s a climactic mixture of the noise that hovers around Internet gaming cafes, along with the extra ventilation permitted by those oversized shirts and even more oversized trucker caps perched on their head, and maybe constant bombardment to songs like this:

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