Angry with my Existence

1/12/2018


I've been subjected to too much sarcasm these past few days. Ako na ang mukhang pera. Ako na ang may evil plot. I must be a really scary person that he refuse to accept that hey, I'm not after you. I'm not plotting anything. I'm just living our lives as fun as I know is possible.

I'm the one who's supposed to be angry but instead I'm thrown anger. My normal me would have retaliated with anger too. F* you. I should be angry not you.  Another part of me just want to ask "Why the F' are u so angry with me?" But what better explanation than he is just angry with your existence. He's been angry with my existence for as long as I remember. Many times I felt guilty of my existence. But hey guess what? I've move on. My existence is mine. Why should I feel guilty about it. Too bad for you if you can't stand it. But I'm here to stay.

Why are we even talking about what's wrong with me or what's wrong with you. We are not turning back. There's no way back. It's just moving forward. Preparing for the kid's future. 

I'm not saying I've really gone Buddha where I can totally control my emotions. In fact, I'm scared. I'm afraid of the day that I'll snap and start fighting back. I seriously want peace. But I cannot let people continue disrespecting me. Some people just have to be taught their place. 

Why can't we just all move on? Do our duties. And keep the peace. 

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